Good Grief

Well, not good but definitely grief.

I attended a memorial service for a co-worker's father today. I never met him but heard many stories from her. There had been trouble over the past year with his health and as shee said, his spirit was too big to be kept in his earthly body.

The memorial service was so lovely. The "family trio" sang two songs - one original written for the father and Amazing Grace; full military honors by the navy with the folding of the flag; lovely poems, readings, photos & memories shared by all of the family members. Even though I never met Al it made me wish I had.

What it did make me do was cry, cry, cry, cry, cry. In fact, it's 5 hours later and I'm still teary-eyed. I think it really brought up lots of my own grief for me. In the past two years I've had a lot of loss; in the past 5 years even more. Attending this memorial made me think back to those that I've lost and bringing back those sad feelings and happy memories. I almost felt embarrassed for crying so much. I know it's because I'm a person who feels things very deeply and crying is how I deal with lots of different stuff - sadness, anger, fear, anxiety, happiness.

So I think tonight I will go home and reflect on those that have gone: Ella, Granny, Tara & Niki, Scot and Alice. All of them are my guardian angels and even though that's a comforting thought, I would still give anything to have them here with me rather than watching over me.